Christmas isn’t that ‘Merry’ for many actually
…but being lonely doesn’t alway mean being physically alone.
There are so many types of life situations where you can find yourself experiencing loneliness - which one are you right now?
Without your family or loved ones as you are abroad?
Single - loss of a romantic partner after many years?
Missed a holiday flight or in hospital?
Lost your health, wealth or happiness?
Homeless or sofa surfing?
Single - unable to find a romantic partner?
Argued with a loved one and now not speaking?
These can be quite common - but the loneliness that often goes unnoticed with where people are not actually physically alone. These situations can be even more sad as there are people around you and yet you STILL feel completely alone…
In a couple - being in a romantic partnership but not in love anymore…
In a family - not feeling understood or supported by your parents or family…
Each of these situations feel devastating, especially if they continue for a long period of time or there is no end in sight.
Don’t give up.
Just look around - most people are or have experienced feeling alone, and that is even when there are people around them…
If you are feeling alone, isolated or detached from the people you love or care about - know that you are one of millions of people around the world going through the same.
It can be hard, but it is also part of life to sometimes go right down to the depths of these situations & experiences…
I have lived through the darkness of feeling lonely - as I type this its Christmas Eve and I sit alone having lost my baby, both parents, 4 siblings, long term partner & even the ‘replacement’ family and kids I had for ten years - at the times of these losses, I was besides myself - making myself sick with worry and anxiety resulting in food allergies, eczema, alopecia & even going blind in one eye for a month. Some of those 12 years I sometimes didn’t even feel anything, being numb to the world, sometimes feeling suicidal & believing that there was no hope for a life after repeated loss - being lonely became a norm and eventually leading me to the wonderfully content life I live now - where ironically, being alone for at least 8 hours of my day is what I love the most! I don't ever feel lonely anymore!
I had lived, prior to the losses, as part of a family and couple where I felt extremely lonely also - not being understood and also not being in love. In some ways this was WORSE than losing the people around me actually. Being around people and feeling alone is a very common and emotionally draining situation. These experiences have led me to peace. To have risen above the feelings that only take energy away and make matters worse. They helped me to live with dignity, as now I will not stay with people just for the sake of needing company, and this is a very empowering thing. Each week I meet new people now - my energy and space open to new people, situations and experiences…
So, if you are lonely - physically alone or feeling alone even with others around you - please be mindful that this is happening to everyone at some stage in life and in some form - reach out and speak to someone or get some sleep and tomorrow is always another day…
On a practical level, I am now helping to organise a space for people who are facing the situations that I once faced in desperation. The ’Shoreham Light Parade’ will be a walk for January 26th @5pm organised to combat loneliness in the UK.
Joinn the facebook page today:
You are not alone.
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